Bitches!
Here's a fucking idea for you -- get to be as masculine and thin as the Metabaron -- by Christmas!
That's right. You have to get yourself in as great shape as the most powerful, proficient warrior the universe has ever known. Not only is he literally the ultimate intergalactic bad ass, he's now your inspiration icon, you obese fat shit! That's right! Look at him! That's what you want to be! You want to be fucking thin, amazing, and armed with psychic and cybernetic powers like him! None of this Jolly Fucking Fat Santa bullshit! You're not some tub of lard handing out toys to innocent giggling children, you are a killing machine handing out death to invading would-be conquering giga-species!
So you better get into shape by December 25th. Or he'll fucking kill you. To death. From outer space. With a ray gun. A ray gun made of pain. It's a special ray gun he designed for fucking fatties, to fucking annihilate them with pain for how fat they are. That's how manly the fucking Metabaron is. He doesn't listen to musicals or go dancing or drink mixed drinks. He kills for the fucking empire and has been doing it since Paleo-knows when!
NOW GET TO IT, TUBBY GALORE
Comments (30)
And let's not forget, someday your children could take on the Metabaron (and die horribly, of course) if you get thin enough that someone will want to procreate with you!
*gets on it*
Lolz. Tubby Galore. Hahaha
@wherethefishlives@xanga - I expect to see you out there conquering Techno-popes and being ready to kill your infant robo-child, mister!
wow. i need to get started, ASAP, if Christmas be Judgment Day..
ha! brilliant.
@TheBigShowAtUD@xanga - Just remember, not even Jesus Christ nor Santa Claus nor the dreadful Anti-Saint Nick, the Diablo Claus, could ever stop the Metabaron! So anyone's pudgy-pounds certainly aren't going to pull in favor with big man Meta.
You worry me, sometimes, Dan.
I AM HIDEOUSLY OBESE!!!!
*runs away with a tub of B&J ice cream*
Well shoot me now, because not only am I going to bask in my 4000 pounds of succulent tripe I just got FedExed over, but the barrels of porkfat should arrive any day and I have a straw!
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Ah ha ha, fucking brilliant.
All I want for Christmas is a sweet Metabaron replacement hip.
@LeftWristTwist@xanga - Well we can't have Steelhead on the list, he's made of fucking metal! Which means more pounds. WHICH MAKES HIM FAT. No wonder he's a failure of a Metabaron...
LMAO!!!!! You're a pretty talented man.
it's got me convinced.
my face ------> ._.
everywhere I go, I see your god damned sarcastic wit and it's driving me fucking nuts. Your ego must be huge.
I'm wondering if that's insulting to you at all, because it's really not meant to be.
He doesn't listen to musicals or go dancing or drink mixed drinks... but you're not the Metabaron, so it's safe to assume that you fill in for him on such duties, since you're probably the real fatty here, eh?
If Judgment day be that of Christmas (Which to me is a bit ironic), then my ass is on the first train down to hell!
I could take him.
ray gun made of pain? No problem....you haven't met my family....
lol. lol. lol.
But I don't want to lose my breasts. :(
you're a geek. metabarons? fucking geeky.
^^ though, if he ever offered crticisim instead of just "you suck" i'd be really surprised. not that the valid point means anything to someone on a vendetta.
Love it. I would heed this warning, chubby peeps.
That's a pretty hot Santa.
I think your just denying the fat person with in yourself with all of this anti globulus propaganda. I mean who wouldn’t want to be perfectly round and squishy. And hey it only means that one day you could have a tv spot when the police jaw of life you out of your home on cable..honestly who wouldn’t want that!! and we all know that to be on t.v. is the meaning of life?? So come on lets all unleash the juicy squish with in ourselves and rub salty flesh flaps at each other in a gesture of friendship :D ha
No more turkey sandwiches with mayo.